Distinction #9

Healthy Selfishness vs Harmful Selfishness

Mother Theresa herself said she was selfish as she loved and enjoyed taking care of the poor and sick children in Calcutta. That can be described as healthy selfishness because it includes the good of others.

On occasion, we may be selfish to protect ourselves from some destructive force at work in another individual or a situation.

Mostly, we are selfish for our own benefit just to cater to our fears and that type can be described as harmful selfishness because it focuses on our separatedness from others. It is good neither for us as it strengthens our fears, nor for others because we withhold loving behavior away from them.

No one is ever truly selfish, there are only people who behave selfishly out of fear!

Distinction # 8

Closed Surrender  vs  Open Surrender 

To surrender passively to a situation simply because we assume we are powerless in dealing with it implies defeat and lethargy. It is a mind decision to give up and shut down which makes us feel stuck somewhere with no exit in sight. It is a form of passive inner resistance. It is not true surrender. It is resignation. In this way of handling a situation, we are left with no choice.

To surrender to what is in the moment so we can move on and take action is an inner surrender whereby we let go of inner resistance.  It comes from the wisdom of knowing how to yield rather than opposing the flow of life. Thus, we can keep our options open for the next moment and take action towards a better situation if we so choose. In this way of handling a situation, we still have choices.